My Thoughts of Notes to John by Joan Didion

I spent the past weekend reading Notes to John, and it left me contemplative and somber. I can relate to the impact of addiction on a family, especially the feeling of despondency. And reading this book while currently dealing with the stress of a loved one in jail who has an addiction problem, leaves me with an emotional impact that I’m still trying to recover. It seems that this problem goes on and on and on-same song-similar verse. I’m weary.

Notes to John is a book written about Joan Didion’s therapy sessions over the course of a couple of years starting in late 1999. She documents her journey in journal notes. Her husband John is the “you” in the notes. He accompanies her to a therapy session at least once. The main topic, and the reason for her sessions with a psychiatrist, is to deal with daughter Quintana’s alcoholism. It is also to help Joan express and communicate fully to Quintana with the hopes they will have a “closer relationship.”

During some sessions the conversation is about other things going on like presidential elections, or World War II and its impact on her family and childhood, or struggles in Joan’s personality, and how to break old habits.

Some of the sessions are serious and emotional; other sessions are less intense.

The Netflix documentary, The Center Will Not Hold, is the outermost layer or framework of Joan Didion. It is a solid introductory piece. It is a documentary that I’ve watched several times and each time I pick up on something I’d missed before. Notes to John is a deeper level. It is an exposing of Joan’s life that I’m not convinced she would have wanted to publish. I’m not comfortable with this. Joan was entitled to have a private life. Other life events are in the notes as well which most people she did not tell.

The one topic that Joan did not talk about (and I expected) is John’s temper that is remarked on in The Center Will Not Hold and her last books. As he got older, did John’s temper mellow?

Before, in reading her books where she talks about Quintana, I never had a grasp on her personality. I am a person who pictures what I am reading. Quintana had felt a little obscure. Notes to John tells me a little more about her. It fills a gap in a small way.

Overall, Notes to John is a book for fans of Joan Didion. It is a book for people who have loved ones who have addictions. It is a book for people who wrestle with hard experiences in life causing trauma and wonder if therapy will help.

I recommend!

Notes to John is published by Alfred A. Knopf.
Published April 22, 2025.
Genre: Nonfiction. Written in a journal entry style.
No illustrations.
A link for more information about the book: Penguin Random House.

An excellent question from early in the book is Do you feel safe to express anger?
And a follow-up question I thought of is Do you express anger well?